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| yo people, wat it do??????
check this rite, in the big WV and L-O-V-I-N
IT!!!!!!!!! neways, for anyone that cares, jus wanted to holla out and
let ya'll kno i aint dead. yo, do what you do and keep it 100!!
ya boy, jim
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| hey ya'll. been a while since i have been on here. been working like crazy!!! man, i gotta say somethin. i woke up the other day and looked at my life. what went wrong? where did my bright future go? was it a fault of my own? was it the result of my sins? did i ask for? i can look in the mirror now, and i can smile because i am ALIVE!!
on a different note, sunday was my birthday. i thought it was gonna be pretty uneventful, but the worst of it was when the closest people in the world to me did not call me! im not mad tho, im just disappointed. not to mention, sunday would have been a year for me and a special person. i hope and pray every night that she is ok. i hope she is getting everything she wants!! god knows i put her through hell, and i broke her heart. i can never take that back, and i am sooo sorry. if you are reading this, good luck. it wasn't your fault. you are still an angel in my eyes.
well, life must go on. got a new girlfriend, but nothing serious. wanna take it really slow. if it works then it works, if not then it wasnt supposed to be. but, this weekend should be kool. she turns 24. neways, hope EVERYBODY is doing well. much love. check it out, i don't know anybody's numbers, but if anyone wants to talk to me, the number is 427-8708. peace!! | | |
| well....today is christmas eve. and, like i thought, no one has called me. no one has said merry xmas. i guess i expected it tho. anyway, got the word from west virginia so about the middle of january i will be GONE!! moving. finally. anyway, that just confirms that i need to do what i am gonna do. i wanted everything to be ok, but what SSSSOOOOOO many people dont realize is that i tried forever and worked so hard to make things right. i am still the same person at heart that i always have been, ever changing and growing better. but, when someone has a view of you and they cant let things go when you have done it for them, then you will never be able to look the same again. oh well, guess some people would rather have young blood. like 13. to each his own i guess. just getting more and more proof. more and more documentation so its not just words. well, next sunday its goin DOWN!! wish it didnt have to tho. wish they could just come talk to me, and hang wit me, but we all kno thats not gonna happen. i guess this is just my life, and this is what is meant to happen. well, i will see ya'll later!!! have a merry xmas, and cherish your loved ones cuz someday the ones you cant live without may be gone, or they may not see you for who you truly are anymore. | | |
| i dont really know what to say. i guess it doesnt realy matter WHAT i say. all i am gonna say is what matters. i DID care, i DID love you, and that NEVER changed. onceagain your making me look like the bad guy. you NEVER told me that you would come see me a week later. NEVER. you told me it wasnt going to happen, then you started with your attitude thinking what i feel doesnt matter and i had enough of it. so, whatever you think about what i plan on revealing, BELIEVE ME, i wont get in any trouble for it. maybe i will lose trust from people, but what does that matter?? ive lost everyone that i cared about anyway in this state. so... and dont think i will get in trouble legally cuz i know WAY more about my own situation than you and there is NO way i can get in trouble. i DO wish things could have been different. but, what i dont think you realize and what you dont tell people is that when we broke up, you took my heart and walked all over it. and not ONE FREAKIN TIME did you sit and really listen to my feelings or talk with me about them. you didnt resolve anything. thats why it hurt so GOD-DANG BAD, cuz for 8 months EVERYTHING i said WAS real. when you left, it was too sudden, and you didnt give me ANY closure, you weren't mature about it at all. and for MONTHS i told you i just wanted to talk, but NNNOOOOO....you were always to busy. well, im sorry that my feelings weren't important enough for you. so, you and your friends can think whatever they want. i really dont care!!!! i tried for MONTHS to be friends, but you couldnt get over yourself and your attitude. thats just the truth, and you know it in your heart. like i said, in two weeks, i WILL let the ENTIRE truth out. and i am NOT scared cuz i CANT get in trouble. and if someone is suposedly gonna woop my ass, then tell them to call me and i will give them directions to my house. you think i am seriously crazy now?? wait until someone is threatening me. you havent seen me get crazy, and i would start anything unless you want you wanna visit your friends in the hospital. like i said for the past 4 FREAKIN MONTHS, and i am still sayiin today, you could have fixed everything, but you wont talk to me. you wouldnt REALLY listen to me. all cuz your NOT mature and dont wanna deal with it. but, its yoour choice. i guess you got bout a week and a half. you know its stupid to say yoour scared of me. you KNOW i have NEVER hurt anyone and i wouldnt, unless someone pushed me. but, the bals in your court......i jus dont care anymore. my life will NOT stop here, so this chapter of my life is not the defining moment. its sad that you cant get over yourself enough to let someone's heart lay to rest that you claimed you loved for almost a year. THATS ALLLLLL I EVER ASKED FOR!!!!!! | | |
| i think this may be the last update ever....
its so true, yet confusing. i can look at this life of mine and see how it has changed. i know it cant get any worse than it has gotten. truth is something alot of people say they value, but the truth is a value they do not understand. if this life is going to turnaround, then the truth will have to come to the light. christmas is a very special holiday, when love, friends, family, and kindness should shine. but, i will not have any of those. you can trust in people and even at a time like xmas, people that you count on will hurt you. and the selfish blindness they have makes you like a bad person. so, i just honestly DONT CARE anymore. about this situation. about this life. it will change, and i am going to change this life. now i see why over time people have learned to gaurd their hearts. you can love someone so completely, and in the end they will make you out to be a piece of shit. well, thats fine. my heart has been damaged beyond repair, so im gonna let the situation go. but, im gonna do ONE last thing. exactly two weeks from today, i will let the truth be known. i just dont care anymore. i put my heart out there SOOOOO many times, and it was trampled on. so, before i let go of this phase of my life, i will return the favor. but its funny becuz some people dont think the truth will be harmful, or they dont think that anyone will believe the truth. well, i tell you this right now, i will make sure that EVERYTHING is out in the open, and i dont care if it means getting myself in trouble as well. i just dont care anymore. but, it sure is a shame. none of this would have had to happen. i simply asked for some understanding, and in the next two weeks, i hope that some people decide they dont want the truth getting out and come see me. but, i aint gonna hold my breath. the reason i am waiting two weeks is so i can remember EVERYTHING. but, watever.
ALOT OF LIVES ARE ABOUT TO DRAMATICALLY CHANGE!!!!!!
anyways, i do hope that ya'll have great xmas's. one love!!!
--you do anything when the funds is low!
PEACE | | |
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